Many of us look at the world through logical lenses and avoid emotions. We focus on emotion because they produce the music that move us and must be part of any change. In addition, the process will also involve a significant amount of logic and cognitive understanding. The emotion in EFT is because the process gives privilege to our emotions, particularly our softer, more risky emotions like sadness and worry. Some clients shed tears in session from time to time, others never do.
Where do emotions fit into all of this? Will my therapist try to get me to cry or gush warm fuzzy sentiments every week? No. We help you identify and understand the processes that keep you stuck and invite new experiences that create change in the relationship. One way to think of the role of an EFT therapist is that of a process consultant. During EFT sessions the therapist and couple work together to understand this pattern, the actions or moves each partner makes, their beliefs about themselves and their partner, the emotions that influence the pattern, and what their partner’s actions in the pattern mean to them. The more they try to make things better, the worse they seem to get. This article will focus on EFT for couples.ĭuring EFCT, partners describe a pattern of the same basic argument happening over and over regardless of topics. Regardless of where you fall on this range, knowing what to expect as you start emotionally focused therapy can be helpful.ĮFT has become the gold standard of therapy for couples (EFCT), and more recently adaptations have been developed for working with families (EFFT) or individuals (EFIT).
For people on the opposite end of the spectrum, hearing the term may trigger significant discomfort as they imagine someone examining their non-existent emotions and trying to get them to cry every session. They may be familiar with EFT, or they just like the idea that someone will focus on and hear their feelings. People on one end of the spectrum may experience a sense of comfort hearing the term. When prospective clients hear that their therapist provides Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) the responses vary widely. What is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy: Will my therapist try to make me cry?
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